Six Years in Tallinn––Finding Treasure in the Trash

It's six years to the day since we took the short flight from St Petersburg and landed in Tallinn.

It's been a year since I last posted on this blog.

Today my wife, Rachel, is in hospital, having her fourth operation in the last twelve months.  Hopefully, this is the last one.  She's cancer-free, and it's going to be all good from here on.

Six years. It's been not an insignificant time, and yet, looking at this photo of the four of us about to board the flight, I doubt there was much of what was to take place over the following years that we might have imagined on that day.  I've covered all this (the good, the bad and the ugly in my three-part series, by the same title, last year).  So I won't repeat myself.

But I felt it was important to share something today, this day of extremes, this day of another annual milestone, even if we are forced (as a family) to be apart due to this final operation.

For Anya, who was not even two years old when the photo was taken (her birthday is in three days), all she knows of life is where we currently are.  It's the only home she remembers.  She has no recollection of our time in St Petersburg, nor does she even remember the rental flat we were about to arrive in six years ago.  Home as we now are is the only home Anya has ever known.  That makes me stop and think, pause to ponder.  It gives some perspective.

For Mia, she was about to embark on another change.  Six years on she's into her fifth language, three of which she has fluently.  When we arrived in Tallinn, her Russian was very strong, and she used it often.  Now, Mia claims she is more natural in Estonian (no small achievement there!) and though she doesn't have as much practice in Russian, it is there when she needs it.  She doesn't want to lose it, either.  One thing that's come from our move abroad (and it will be ten years in total this summer!) is that Mia, for sure, will always be a great linguist, Anya also.  Anya tends to shy away from speaking Estonian (she doesn't have the Russian like Mia does, as she was too young when we left), but she will surprise us often with using it.  Her language teachers (Estonian and French) both report how well she is doing.  I guess living in other cultures really is good for a child's language abilities.

As a family, we've set about learning the fifth language together.  Nothing offered yet as to why that is, but it's a great thing to do together and might, one day, come in useful.

The Moment Before Dawn

I'd never really thought about this before leaving the UK.  I'd always assumed the middle of the night (say 3 or 4 AM) was the coldest, just as you assume that either the end of December or January to be the coldest months.  Yet during the coldest spells (and we are maybe in the coldest spell we've had since moving to Tallinn, with temperatures pressing down to -20c this last week), it's the coldest right up to the point just before the sun rises. 
It makes perfect sense, of course.  Until the sun appears, there is no heat, nothing to change to cold.  So it figures that those moments before sunrise (therefore the longest amount of time since the sun was up) that it is then, in fact, the coldest.  That means 8, 9 or 10 in the morning can be colder than at night.  Just as February (we soon learnt this from our time in this part of the world) is colder than the months before it.

The lesson I'm trying to draw here, and something we've been learning ourselves, is that sometimes the toughest moment is the time immediately before a breakthrough, not halfway through something.  It can be at the time you think it'll never change when the end arrives (at last).  

Hopefully, today's operation (the last one that is planned) signifies that shift for us, even if March 1st does little to convince us that winter is over and spring is just around the corner.  Here, and with a heavy snowy winter, it'll be many more weeks before we see the grass again.  It might be green by the end of May.

Winter changes lots of things, of course.  Spring (and the warming sunshine) allows new growth.  It's the course of nature.

Coming out of our winter (figuratively speaking) as a family, we know there is much to look forward to.  We know much has been lost, also.  Things that we had around us, things we maybe took for granted, that are no longer a stable part of our life, even if in the background.  How these things begin to blossom and bloom in the season ahead, we will have to wait and see.

God is ALWAYS speaking

Something that has been encouraging, in a way we couldn't have imagined six years ago, is the amount of non-churched people who are drawing strength and asking questions, because of the way we've walked this path recently through cancer.  We've been vocal that this isn't God's doing (the disease).  We've been upbeat (I hope) about our need for God, especially in a time like this.  And we've been told by many that what we are sharing is helping them.

One of the things I've been pondering recently is the subject of When God Doesn't Answer Our Prayers or When God is Silent.  I get what is being asked, and it's good to have that conversation, but I also think it's foolish to position such a statement or question that way.  Because God also hears our prayers, and I'm convinced he always has an answer.

I was chatting this through with someone recently and likened the above to radio waves.  It would be like someone, who because they could no longer pick up a station on their radio (or WiFi on their device also works for this analogy), assuming that the radio station had gone off-air (or that the internet had switched off).  A broken radio or device in no way means the signal is gone, it's just our ability to hear or understand the signal that has been momentarily affected.

A loving God and Father will always hear the prayers of his children.  As a human, I have to accept that I don't know all things, only God does.  So when something happens that I can't explain, it doesn't change who God is.  I've touched on this before but will repeat it here.  Being a Christian, and trusting in a loving God, it means I give up my right to know why something happens if there is no obvious answer.  I just choose to trust.

Sometimes it’s good to follow a path
someone else has forged...

It's 10 AM as I type this line.  My wife is most probably on the operating table as I write.  Those dreamers pictured in that photo at the top from six years ago couldn't have imagined this would be how we'd mark today, and yet the following is also true.  We've understood a deeper aspect of God and his nature (and his goodness!) that we might never have known, had we not gone through these last eighteen months.

No, that doesn't mean God made this happen, and yes, I guess being all-knowing he would have been aware of what was going to happen back on that day, even if we didn't.  But he exists aside from time, knowing the end as much as the beginning.  And one thing I've come to learn over this last year is that he's got a much bigger plan for us and that he's been thinking about it for far longer than we have ever realised.
I recently went on a ski down through the forest to the frozen sea near our home.  I took two pictures, knowing, in a way, God was speaking to me through them.  The caption under each is what I felt God say for both.

...and sometimes you need to forge a path
where no one has gone before.

I'd been following tracks in the snow that took me further out over the frozen Baltic.  It was fun, and the tracks helped me cut through the snow a lot easier.

But the tracks didn't take me far enough.  Suddenly, in front of me, there was a whole mass of untouched snow.  I knew I needed to forge a new path.  New adventures await, but I had to now make my own tracks––my own marks––in the snow.
And I did.

So What Does It Mean?

Not a lot, for now.  But we've sensed 2018 is our year (I recently heard that 8 is the number of new beginnings).  That figures as it was 2008 (in the eighth month, too) when we moved to Russia.  We've come through a dark period, and just like the dawn, even though we are still in the thick of it, change is moments away.  Today gives me hope.  It's the last operation.  Rachel is through it all––she's done brilliantly!  We've coped well.  The girls have been amazing.

Yes, there had been some really tough times.  It's not ignoring them to say good times are ahead.  But it's looking forward with hope, with excitement.

We don't know what this new day will bring, though we have a sense.  We don't know when this new day with dawn, though we feel it's closer than ever.
And when we do know, you'll hear about it first right here.  I doubt it'll be a year before I next have something to share...

Faith -- feɪθ --

Faith

"Faith – it does not make things easy, it makes them possible"

"Don't compare your beginnings to someone else's middle"

"Worry ends when faith in God begins"

These are just some of the many thousands of similar quotes you might find on the subject of faith. In the light of yesterday's attacks in Brussels, we are once more reminded of the darkness so prevalent in front of our eyes.  It fills our television screens, our newspapers and our social media news feeds.

So I want to dwell on faith, a little, if I might, and end with a picture I've taken this week which I believe captures the essence of faith in action.  You'll see what I mean later.

Faith, like I guess with words such as love, hope, affection, has no actual power in itself.  If you were able to bottle up any of these, to capture the actual essence of what it was, if it were even possible to have a jar full of the substance of faith, to look at it, to feel its weight, it would still be powerless, still be totally flat.  You see faith, like love and all the others I mentioned, has to exist within relationship.  Without that connection, it doesn't hold any power.  And whilst as a Christian my key relationship (and one I'd expect you to assume I would include) is with God, even if you don't believe in God, this principle is still at work in the world, in your life, regardless.  You can see that in love, for example.  Take out the object of that love, that affection, and there is no actual substance.  We walk outside, in faith knowing we won't just float around, nor sink to the depths, because of the relationship between gravity and the forces of physics that keep our feet on the ground, and no lower.

We are all people of faith – regardless of what people might think about that statement, what images that conjures up. People have faith in their favourite sports team, spending time and money to attend games, investing energy and emotion into the teams successes (and failings!).  You have the belief (another word for faith!) in the fact that at the end of the month your days spent working will be rewarded with your salary.

All these are examples of faith in action – faith working in relationship with something, someone, else.

But it also matters in whom you hold that faith, and the level of faith you have is proportionate to the object of that faith.  Let me give you this example.  If a five-year-old in my daughter's nursery class told me they'd give me €10 million, I wouldn't have a lot of expectation that this would come about – my faith would be very low in that regard, based on the individual. If, on the other hand, Bill Gates was visiting the school, and once I got chatting with him he then said the same thing to me, my faith that I might actually receive this amount of money suddenly changes. Here stands a man that can actually make that happen!

How much more so with God? I mean, not the god the world doesn't believe in, the one that gets laughed at right across Estonia, the notion being that any religion is just fairytales for kids (another reference I saw mentioned today on Facebook within a group here in Estonia) and that adults know better. I mean a God that is so much bigger than we can explain, so much beyond our rejection of him. A God more loving that we could ever give him credit for, and a better Father to us than we could every experience. A God who suffers with us, who suffered before us and who brings an answer to all the suffering, a solution and end to all the death that surrounds us, through the person of Jesus.

What if this were the one you put faith in – what then might be possible?

Estonia stands on the brink of becoming a totally godless nation. What will be difficult is that in other areas, the nation is advancing rapidly, without the need for God. They will soon, unless we change the atmosphere here, be able to stand, and like those early humans in Babel, call out to the world and say 'look at what we've done, aren't we great, and all this without the need for belief in your God.'

Estonia is the frontline in the spiritual battle for the increasingly secular societies the world is seeing. The battle is here, and the battle is now.

I've been reading about Joshua lately – there was the first generation group of leaders around Joshua and then there was the second generation. Both were faced with the same challenge, to take hold of a new land that was filled with very real giants. The first group failed the test, God taking them all out until only Joshua and Caleb remained, the entire rest dropping in the desert. God was raising up new people to put around this adventure ready, faith filled warrior.

I relate to Joshua (in that I'm seeing those around us falling back, leaving me wondering if God is stripping away in order to rebuild).  It's not easy, and church planting in the most spiritually hostile land in Europe takes its emotional toil. But I keep in mind what my heart sees, the light God has placed there for better days to come for Estonia, despite the increasing darkness I'm seeing with my eyes.

God, move mightily on this fragile land. God of Joshua, break down the giants that live in Estonia. Breakdown the fortified cities of Secularism and Atheism that have set themselves up like Jericho in this nation, the residents boasting in their apparently superior position. Send an army that would see these walls come falling down. Bring outworking to our faith and obedience for standing here, spying out a land flowing with milk and honey, and believing that you can take this land. Put the right kind of warriors around us, friends that we can go into battle with to see this nation reaching heights that they never even thought were possible. In a time of increasing darkness – let your light break out!

We are praying about how to partner more with others to see Kingdom life break out, so please pray with us for a conversation we're having with some people on Monday.  We are also praying for this army to join us.

In all this, we still love the fact that God has called us to Tallinn. Because of our relationship in the one who called us, because of that faith that he knows what he is doing even if we don't, we know the future here will be exciting. Whilst emotionally it threatens time and again to get too much, we must keep our eyes on him. There's a land to possess here, and we aren't going to give up that easily. Are you?

Now, about that photo of faith in action I mentioned at the beginning. On the weekend I planted these little cuttings. They are sitting on our balcony. I don't know if they'll actually take, it was partly an experiment to see how these type of trees take. I hope they do. But that's not the main point. The main point is this; why do we have little trees growing in small pots that can't possibly sustain them, on a balcony without the space for them to grow? It's the same with the apple tree my daughter is also growing for a year already. Why? Well, though the trees will grow well for the moment, and I can transfer them to bigger pots that can keep them growing, I know that this won't be enough. But one day (hopefully in the not to distant future, for the saplings sake at least!) we'd love to own some land, something outside the city with a garden – space to grow some trees, space for an apple tree. So we are growing them now, ahead of the time, knowing that when that time might come, the trees will be ready to be planted into the ground.

Will that happen before the trees get too big? Will we see a church planted that thrives? Will a nation be saved?

We believe so...

Momentum -- məˈmɛntəm --

"A river is easier to channel than to stop." 

― Brandon Sanderson

"One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals"
― Michael Korda 

The world has a lot to say about momentum, these being just a small handful of the results that come up when you search this word on Google.  I've been thinking about this word a little as I've thought about what to write on this week, the days getting away from me so that it is already approaching Friday evening before I've got around to writing down my thoughts.

I'm not always a good front seat passenger in a car, which my wife would probably agree with.  Put me in the back seat and I'll happily sleep, but in the front I can't help but notice things, spot when the gear is too low, the engine working harder than it need do.  

Driving in a low gear, whether as a passenger or the driver, is never that much fun.  Heavy traffic (which, really, we don't have a lot of in Tallinn, though its all relative ― here a traffic jam is five cars waiting at a junction!) means you rarely get out of third gear.  Our car has six gears, and its only once we clear the city (which doesn't take long to do in beautiful Tallinn) that we get to move through the gears, and pick up some speed.

As leaders, we have gears.  Actually, whatever walk of life you are in there is an element of different times calling for different gears.  My writing life, at the moment, is seeing me move up through the gears ― its been an exciting year so far because of that.

We've now been four years in Tallinn, as I wrote about last week.  And if I use the picture of a six speed gearbox, (not counting reverse, because let's face it, who wants to go backwards!), I'm not sure, as a church plant leader, I've ever really gotten out of about third gear.  We've had a few false starts ― people moving away suddenly, or deciding church planting wasn't for them after all.  We've had seasons of growing numbers ― first gear, into second then third...before the crunch of tires, momentum halted and we are back to (seemingly) a snails pace.  Of course, picturing the car (as my image says above) whether its first gear or sixth, you are still moving forward.  Progress is progress ― albeit slow.

It's hard to think that as a church plant leader, I've not been able to move through the gears as maybe was the case in St Petersburg.  There, with a great team around us, we could all operate where our gifting felt most natural, flowing into fourth, fifth and then sixth gears as space allowed.  There were great 'times' of being a leader back then, blessing people, prophesying, growing together as a group.  It caused others to move through the gears too (which is what real leadership is all about, seeing others growing in who they are, released to be all they can be).  We had genuine, spirit filled, forward momentum.

In contrast, I've not been able to see that happen (yet) in Tallinn ― a result being, those that have been with us (sometimes very briefly) haven't caught the very thing we want them to see.  Momentum then grinds to a halt.

Maybe that's the thing.  In a land such as Tallinn, where the ground is so untouched, the seeds of the Kingdom yet to be planted, we've had to swap the car for a plough, doing away with gears altogether.  With a plough, there is no gearbox, no moving from fourth to fifth, just simply forward movement.  Forward progress, one row at a time.  Progress.

And that's an interesting thought.

Do you know someone who can push a plough with us?  We'd love to have you come visit and see this amazing city, this interesting people, yourself.  It doesn't matter whether progress is fast or slow, we aren't going to quit ― because, as the saying goes, progress is progress.

Tallinn needs a whole bunch of spirit filled, fun loving, people seeking, God worshipping people, and so do we.  Mission is fun and best done in team.  And best of all, with the image of a plough instead of a car, there is no chance of back seat driving! 

Believe -- bɪˈliːv --

Belief.  It's powerful and it's divisive.

Powerful - because it can change your whole outlook, your whole worldview, even your life.

Divisive - because it can alienate you from others or make you a target.  It can separate families, it can put you in prison and it can make you lose your life.

Last month, I saw something on Facebook posted by one of my Estonian connections.  It had other Estonians commenting, liking, suggesting the fact they'd like to move there.  The post?  It was from Iceland, supposedly reporting the 'fact' that 0% of under 25s believe that the world was created by God.
I think the person had posted this with the hash tags along the lines of 'religion', 'fake' and 'eduction.'
Some of the comments went along the lines of 'see what an education teaches you!' and others just said; 'when can we move there!'

Estonians, once more, revelling in the idea that God doesn't exist.

But it got me thinking...because of my education, not despite it, I know that just because someone says or thinks something, doesn't mean it is.  Education has taught me that we don't know all the answers!

So when the leading minds of the world taught that the world was flat, the Earth didn't change shape to go along with this 'fact.'  When mankind assumed everything orbited the Earth, the solar system carried on as it always had, and always will.
When people say to God "you don't exist" He must just look upon them like some father marvelling at the rubbish coming out of his child's mouth and reply: "I do, and I believe in you, even if right now, you don't believe in me."

Since when has someone denying something ever actually had any effect on the reality of, or existence of, the object of that denial?

Education, and logic, has taught me to think like this...and when I apply that to faith (everyone operates in faith, as I'll come to in a moment, regardless of what you believe) it only strengthens that conviction, not destroys it.

It's illogical to throw out the claims of Jesus, the existence of God, wholesale. Totally illogical.  Firstly, there is the undeniable historical person of Jesus, undisputed by Christian and non Christian historians.  This guy walked the earth - fact.  

In the Bible we have evidence of what this man said.  The Bible holds up to all textual analysis, far more so than other great works which are also undisputed. The time we have the earliest copies from, the quantity of these copies, the time between events, no other historical document has as much evidence going for it.  We therefore know, without any doubt, that what we have as the modern day Bible is as close to the original as we can get - far closer to any other text of its age.

What Jesus said in the book provides another issue - to quote C S Lewis, Jesus could only have been Lord, Liar or Lunatic based on his own words.  No other title is justified.  He wasn't 'just a good person or just a good moral teacher' though he was also these things.

Central to his life is actually his death and then what followed.  If Jesus didn't come back from the dead as he said he would, then everything that went before becomes invalid, we need not accept his words.  But if he did...!
Again, the evidence is there.  The lack of body, lack of the Romans then producing a body, the fact each of his followers lived outworking the knowledge of Jesus' resurrection, and most dying horrible deaths defending that fact, no one denying it at the end...

Lord, Liar or Lunatic.  Education and applied logic leave us with no vague, confusing situation.

Back to belief - we all believe in something, even if its nothing.

Picture a room if you will.  There is a big wooden door that is standing closed, so that we can't see into the room. Inside that room, I believe God himself dwells. It's the man Jesus Christ.  I'm standing next to you, outside the room.  Let's pretend there is no other supporting evidence - it's just you and me, outside a door.
You, as an atheist, don't believe there is a God.  You don't believe Jesus is in that room - you believe the room is empty.  You see, it's not enough to say that you don't believe in God, because you are also therefore saying that you believe there is no God. 

We all believe something.  Some in a person, others in a void.

And here is the thing - I'm happy to know you if you have no belief.  We can be friends, I can share the things I know and feel, if you like, but I don't need to. But want I can't accept is the statement that belief equals fairy tales and life without God is because of good education and logic.  I'm a very logical person and I see this completely simply.  There is no confusion at all.

Sadly, it's often other people who choose to distance themselves from this kind of open, relational conversation.  I'm here for anyone who really wants to talk, to walk through this all, even if it takes us years of talking to get there.

It's said that soon schools (in England) might not teach about what happened to the Jews during the war because it offends muslims, who deny the holocaust actually took place.  People deny the moon landings too.  Does that actually have any affect on the truth of the events?  No, of course not.  Education has taught me that, and that's not about to change.

So what do you believe?

Soldiers -- ˈsəʊldʒə --

We were all born into a war zone.

I'm not talking between one nation and another, or people groups, dictators or anything like that.  There has been a battle raging in the heavens since before the creation of the world.  In fact, when Adam and Eve ate that fruit and ushered in the fall, it really was only the fall of humankind.  An original fall had happened, when a created angel wanted the place of God, and the punishment for that stupid idea was to be sent from heaven - with a third of the angels.  The devil has been waging war against God, and his plans, ever since.

There are some very 'dangerous' places in the world today if we just switch on the news.  Yet something I've always said is this:

"I'd rather be in the middle of a war-zone inside the will of God, than in a place of (relative) safety outside of his will."

Oh, to be foolish enough to be outside his will!  It doesn't bear thinking about really.

There is a spiritual battle raging for Tallinn.  That's why we are here.

They say, 'Estonians don't do religion.'  And looking around (my Facebook feed is often full of examples proving this fact!) you'd have to say this seems the case.

It's certainly not an easy place to plant a church!

But, I don't really believe that Estonians, or anyone to that fact, simply 'don't do God.'  What I do think is true is that Estonians haven't done God, and haven't had a history of seeing the Bible preached for what it really says. Their rejection, at best, is of a god they think they know about.  A god their communist leaders of the past said didn't exist.  A belief system laughed at in schools (it still is nowadays too!).

Put any Estonian before a living, breathing, healing and all loving, all forgiving God, and they too, like millions of others, suddenly will do God.  I'm convinced of the fact.  That's a large part of why we are here.

'Tim' doesn't have the answers in himself.  Nothing about me is going to change this nation.  But I do know someone who can.

This last week I had another Estonian tell me they don't do religion, and therefore turned down my offer to them to share my personal story.  I was at least able to agree that the God they don't believe in is probably a god I wouldn't believe in either.  We'll see if one day he gives me the chance to really share who Jesus is.

To plant a church here, to even get up to twenty people (the thought seems like a lifetimes effort away!) is going to take something incredible.  Because, as I've said, there is a battle raging for Estonia.

Officially, Estonia ranks number 2 in the world of most atheistic nations. Number 1 is North Korea.  One of the challenges with Estonia is the population.  Doing a little research online, it suggests in North Korea, there are only 1.7% who are Christians (there are other religions showing higher too, but for the sake of comparison, I'll stick to Christianity.  Estonia doesn't have many other religions represented anyway.)  

1.7% is a low percentage, for sure.  Estonia, though the lowest Christian nation in Europe, must have a higher percentage than that - but, here's the thing.  North Korea has a population of 24.9 million people - 1.7% therefore represents 423,000 people!  That's a third of the total population of Estonia, or more to the point, the entire population of Tallinn!  And yet, there are something like only 4,000 Christians here in the capital, maybe a few more.  But not tens of thousands.

Estonia needs something special!

I used the quote from Winston Churchill mainly because we have a General who is Great!  The greatest in fact!

2 Chronicles 20:15 says; "For the battle is not yours, but God’s."

Thinking about this nation, thinking about the Christian brothers and sisters we are praying will move here to join us, it's wonderfully reassuring to remind myself that this is God's battle.  As I said last time in my post on obedience, we are only here because it was first His idea.  And that idea involved seeing a vibrant, spirit filled community loving the city and all whom are put before us.  Serving this great place, being a blessing to all.

Does that stir you?  Want to come and join us to see this happen?

Only the battle hardened, God called, service trained soldiers need apply...

Tallinn Update - Winter at Last!

As we hit the first of December, so we had the first real snowfall.  Winter has come at last!  Over night, the temperature has dropped down to nearly minus five.  The rain and overcast (slightly warmer) days have given way to sunny, clearer skies and noticeably colder days.  But these are what make Tallinn winters so beautiful!  And I much prefer sunny days in winter.

So, as we hit December, a busy time of year for all, we wanted to send out an update in good time, before things get too festive, with all the news from us in Tallinn.  As usual, our now annual (it will be our 5th one!) Christmas musical photo/video card will come out later this month, so keep an eye on this blog for when it does.

Before we get stuck in, and so that you can see what's coming, here are the headlines for this update:

• Continued favour on the Toddler group
• Core formation and hopefully soon growth
• More Visitors - though finished now for the year
• Job Challenge
• St Petersburg trip coming up
• Health challenges as we mark one year since my back injury

The Winter Market in Tallinn has opened - this photo, I guess taken a few years ago, shows the setting for the market. The huts are set up a little differently now, but with the snow and lights, the effects are still as magical. It makes the Old Town, just that little bit more special.

Toddler Group

One thing we've often mentioned but not said too much about, is the weekly Sing & Play children and babies group we host at ours every Thursday.  This is certainly Rachel's 'baby' - if I'm home, apart from being around to help set up a little (though not as much as Rachel needs often), I tend to get to listen through the walls as the flat fills up, talking to the parents as I make the odd drink, while working in the office.  This group has continued to do really well.  Please pray that Rachel and Elisabeth (who runs it with Rachel but has her hands full with 3 children of her own!) are able to get more help with it.  Rebekah (who we'll mention again later) was able to help while here for ten nights recently - staying with us, and therefore here for set up and clear away, it really showed the great value this adds, and something Rachel is now missing with Rebekah being back in the UK!   The other mums are getting involved too though and are now making a cake for the group each week.

  Once a month Rachel has now started including a Baby Massage class within the group.  This is a skill she picked up when she had Mia back in the UK.  She was given training and taught some classes in the UK at the time.  It's funny the things that come back years later - like her Body Shop training with make-overs and facials that opened the door to working with the Butterfly project in Tallinn.

The group of mums (there was one dad for a while, though his working pattern changed and he's not currently able to come) is a mix of several nationalities, but there are several Estonian mums coming, including one neighbour from the fifth floor of our building.  She has helped with doing some of the songs in Estonian.  These babies are all going to be singing in many languages!

Core Development....and Growth?

The last two weeks have seen some challenges - but I write this saying that as a team, we are in a much stronger place because of it all.  I think the adjustments that we have made to our program, which came out of long conversations over about three days last week, have put us in a better position to move forward.  It was as if God was in the midst of the conflict, bringing us safely through to a much better place.  It gives us all more room to grow, and helps launch a weekly home group meeting which should really serve the core, as well as being a building point for those that have shown an interest in what we are about.

And on the back of this, Rebekah, who we've mentioned already, and talked about praying for in the last October update, has stated that she is planning on moving here in February next year, to help out with the church plant!

This is fantastic news, and though the details are not sorted out (like job, where she will live etc!), it is a great statement of faith.  Please pray that she gets some great options offered to her, that allow her both to build relationships and flourish, whilst giving her time to get stuck in with Hope:Tallinn events.  She is wanting to come and help establish a Children's ministry, serving both those within the church, and as options develop, those outside.  She would be a great blessing, so please be lifting her in your prayers as she outworks the practical elements of this over the next two months.  

Arriving at the coldest point of winter, pray for a great adjustment - I guess, it can only get warmer for her!

She would be the 8th adult member of the team - and we are praying that the current core doubles to 14 (very quickly!!??) in order for us to think about launching the church plant into the next phase.  

Visitors
Last month saw some more visitors, and actually the last for the year.  As well as having Rebekah with us for ten days, we also had a visit from Colin Baron (Manchester, UK) with Dave Henson (Cardiff).  They spent a few nights in Tallinn, having come from St Petersburg.  Dave, because of his back, stayed in a local hotel, to give him space to move around in the night, without disturbing anyone.  They spoke at our midweek meeting, and I had as much time as I could with them.  For Colin it was his first time in Estonia.  I don't think it will be his last.  And then just a few days after they both went, Rachel's mum and dad came to stay for five nights.  They were a real blessing and Mia and Anya especially enjoyed having Grandma and Grandad around for the weekend.

December and January are clear, and will be kept that way.  As a family there has been a lot of pressures, which is natural in our situation, but it seems a good time to pause a little, and enjoy the holiday when we get to Christmas. The girls are also getting busy with school plays and ballet concerts, as is normal for this time of year, so it gives us the space to enjoy these events with them.

Taken the other month looking towards Tallinn in the distance

As a numbers man, I totaled up the visitors this year.  March and December will have been the only months that no one was staying with us, but if you take each nights sleep someone has had, and put them in a row, it comes to 136 nights out of those 10 months.  Of course, most of these have been multiple people staying at the same time.  On the other side, there were also 54 days when one (usually this, and usually me) or all of us where away from home, often in another country.

This fact alone is so different to what life had been in Russia, and especially in England.

Events - Gathering of a Community
The main events that are now happening each month are a big meal together once a month, as well as the focused men's and women's events.  For the men, this has been Poker nights at our home which I have hosted.  It's great for building friendships together, creating a bridge in our relationship where we can meet at other times to talk, and is also just about having some fun! I'll say it again, as I've said before - we do not play for money!  

For the ladies, Rachel has recently hosted a SPA event, which is the second time they've done that.

And all of them together are building community.  It's ironic that while most people in the world now live in cities, statistically mankind is now the loneliness we've ever been.  Simply having people living around you doesn't cut it - unless you are part of a community.  And we've seen, through the meals and these other events, a community emerging.  Having come here not knowing anyone, we've seen friendships developing.  And as life gets busier, our prayer and battle will be to keep space for relationships, and building others into communities.

And it's also just a good principle to bless the city - to be a blessing to those around us, regardless of their beliefs.  

The view from our window the other day

Another way this was recently outworked, was Rachel hosting a baby shower at ours for a lady from another church.  We are really friendly with them, have served them on a Sunday a couple of times, and it was great to help make the event possible, by hosting and organising the event.  It's Rachel working to one of her main strengths - hospitality.

The Challenges

Health has been a bit of an issue with the girls (Rachel included!) over this last month or so.  Both Mia, and Anya more so, have missed days at school/kindergarten.  Rachel has been fighting something for some time - and if I'm honest, as I'm writing this, I'm starting to not feel so good myself.  It seems we really do need a cold snap to kill off these nasty viruses.   Your prayers for health would be appreciated!

It is also now a year ago since I was taken to hospital in an ambulance, not being able to walk.  And twelve months later, the time they said it would take to fully recover, I can say I'm getting better all the time.  I will of course be careful - it was when the snow first arrived last year, and something I did moving the snow, that caused it all in the first place! So while it has been a challenge on many fronts, I am looking forward to really enjoying this Christmas and winter, which were a struggle last year.

The Job Challenge

Something that came to head with the visit of Dave last month, was this issue of family income.  While we are only in the early phases of church planting in Estonia, we have also already been away from the UK for over five years now. So it's been natural that churches and individuals have felt they were unable to continue with their monthly giving.

While we continue to live by faith, with about half our income coming through faithful giving (not only from the UK), we are thinking about ways to press through with finance.  For the last few years, we've been living on a very fine line, and this last year in Tallinn actually spending more than came in.

In relation to paid work, I am now working two days a week for my old full-time UK job, which I've been doing some hours for ever since we first left the UK.

This year, I launched a business as a language agency.  While that is getting some teaching work in (all Rachel's lessons are now going through the company) it's yet to really stand up on it's own two feet as a business - please pray for continued favour on this - as well as with my writing.  My book is continuing to sell, and I am well on my way to finishing the second novel as well.  I really hope that this can be released in 2014.  My official Author Page recently went live on Facebook - please be sure to connect to it here. By liking the page on FB, it allows your friends to see the page, and increases my reach.  I am so thankful to everyone that has already done this. If you haven't yet, please do. It means so much to me. And long term, I really hope to be able to focus solely on writing as my trade.  I believe this is the career God will open up.  For this, I really do need your prayers.

This all being said and done, there is a real need now for income, so I am exploring the options of increasing my working week to full time - by either finding a part time job in Tallinn for three days a week, and still doing my two days in the UK, or needing a full time job here.  

This option does scare me if I'm honest.  It would be a huge change to life here, and a real challenge to fit everything else in with church.  The wider travel side I would need to lay down, and as the church grows and approaches its launch, again, that would be a challenge for time.  

But I do tend to focus on the specifics and not look too far ahead.  While I would love the business to take off and my books to sell rapidly, it might well be that in the mean time I need to take on some more work.

Please pray for the right job - the perfect job that pays well and matches my skills.  Having started looking, I am already really limited with options. Due to language and experience, my skills are more easily fitted to the UK market.  But I only need one job that's right for me.  Please pray, in what ever God wants, that this whole situation changes rapidly.  We know God has the perfect way through.

St Petersburg - next week!

As I check the calendar to see when it is that I am going, I had a mild panic to realise it's only the end of next week when I am going back to St Petersburg.  I am travelling on the Thursday with Stephen from the team here, and Arnoud and Enrico will be joining us on the Friday.  We'll have the whole weekend in the city, encouraging the church there, and exposing both groups to each other.  Please pray for a blessed trip, and like in Holland, as the four of us spend more time together, for great fun and memories to be formed. We travel back to Tallinn on Monday 16th December.

Family and Prayer Points

Mia had a small part in a ballet show yesterday and has a bigger role, where we will all be there to watch, in the middle of next week.  Both girls are continuing to enjoy life.  Both are so much fun, though we are aware with Mia's school, there is a lot of pressure put on the students.  She gets hours of homework each week.  It's often hard for us to keep on top of it.  They are both speaking Estonian well, in their own little way.  Anya certainly understands a lot, and is the one most surrounded with it, when she is in kindergarten.  Mia's Estonian class teacher has mentioned to Rachel how well Mia is picking up the language and that she has surprised her with the things she has understood.

We will be staying in Tallinn this Christmas - the tree should be going up next weekend, which I guess will also feature in the annual Animoto video greeting that I will try and get around to doing soon!  We'll leave you with some prayer pointers.  Thanks for reading this year - the blog went through the 20,000 visitor mark last week - an incredible thought!

• Pray for God's abundant breakthrough with the job/finance situation
• Pray for a quick recovery of this nasty virus
• Pray for Rebekah as she makes final plans regards moving here
• Keep praying for salvation 
• Thank God for every visitor we've had this year!
• Thank God for the great communities that are developing!

Tallinn Update: The Winter's Over edition..

Hello from a Spring-like Tallinn!  The snow is (nearly!) gone!  Only the last sections of the huge piles remain, and they are getting smaller by the day.  Winter was long this year, but we are greatly looking forward to summer, which we know will be light, and hopefully warm too!

The photo above was taken from Tallinn's newly reopened Seaplane Harbour museum, which is meant to be the best of it's type in Northern Europe.  And having spent a day walking around, and on, submarines, aircraft, ships and much more, we would not argue with that fact!  In this photo, we got to dress up in our choice of costume, much to the girls delight, and in true Estonian fashion, not only is there a camera to photograph us, but then it emails us directly with the photo!

It's been two very busy months since our last update, so here are the headlines as to what has been happening!

Following on from the last update

Anya started kindergarten on 1st March and has made friends there already, ironically one boy being an American whose family are also here to church plant!  They are part of a team running the Serve the City events, and we have been getting to know the founding couple, Brett and Tammy Toft, who also came around for dinner at ours last Tuesday night.

Our Estonian classes continue, and we have intensified our supplementary internet courses to often doing them every night, and with the lighter evenings already, have often had to stop ourselves at gone ten.

We are continuing to gather, having put on an excellent Easter meal as a team, for a few people.  A roast dinner was followed by an Easter egg hunt for the children, before separate discussions were had looking at what Easter is all about.  For one visitor, it was her first ever experience of Easter.
Earlier that day, I had also spoken at Praise Chapel, a small local Estonian church where we have been getting to know the leading couple.  And as also mentioned in the last update, I visited Hope Church St Petersburg again, this time preaching there, which was my first time doing so since being sent to plant in Tallinn.  It was my second return trip to Russia, this time going on my new multi entry annual visa, so for this next year at least, I will be looking to go regularly, maybe every 6 weeks or so.

Prayer for Business

Last time I mentioned how things had opened up so that I had founded a new business in Estonia, which long term we hope to be able to help support the work we are doing in the nations.  I'm looking to be able to combine ministry trips with business, so for example, when I was in St Petersburg in March, met with two schools in relation to study options in the UK.  A third school has since been in touch (they were unable to meet with me then because of a vacation).  Around Estonia I have also been having a little growing interest, but overall, still nothing concrete.  Please pray, therefore, for God's favour upon this new business, and for contacts to emerge all over Estonia, and wider in places like St Petersburg, Riga, Vilnius, Helsinki and Stockholm.
And as I said before, being in business has continued to open up opportunities with others in Tallinn - I met with a Canadian business man last month, and also will catch up with another Dad from Mia's school when he returns to Tallinn in May.

One Year On+

We've now been in Tallinn for over 13 months.  For those with 3 minutes to spare, I've put together a photo collect to reflect the changing seasons of Tallinn.  And here it is;


Team Growth

Last time I talked a little bit about folks looking to join us, and since then the young Estonian/American couple have confirmed they are moving to join us this year, arriving at the end of August most probably, ready for her studies to start in September.
And the British young lady I mentioned has also booked up a trip to Tallinn, coming for a month from 22nd July, initially, depending on what work options open up for her.  Please pray for her, and this other couple, that God would bless their plans over these next few months.
Today I also had confirmation of a UK church leader coming to visit us during his sabbatical this summer, coming for a long weekend and being part of our monthly Vision Sunday.
With summer fast approaching, the Hope:Tallinn team are looking forward to putting on a combination of indoor and outdoor events.

Social Action that impacts the city and effects the region

For a long time we have had a heart to bring genuine change for the good of this city.  We believe that is what the church is for.  And this was particularly highlighted when I was in London last November and met with a homeless lady called Anita, as mentioned in this previous update.
Two areas that are opening up are the following.  The first is with Rachel and a women's refuge centre here in Tallinn.  Many are women who have previously been trafficked into the sex industry.  This centre empowers them to get regular jobs and rebuild broken lives.
The other development, which is still in it's early days, is with the charity Care for Children, which up to now has been working mainly in Asia.  A mutual friend, after visiting us here, asked the director of this charity if they would consider working in Eastern Europe, and to our surprise and delight, said yes.  So far in Asia, they have placed 250,000 children from state systems, like orphanages, into loving homes.  They work at government level and God has opened some amazing doors for them in the past.  So please pray as we are at a very preliminary stage here in Estonia, but our hearts are to help support a similar ministry in this region too.

Singing

Mia is part of her choir at school and does love to sing (and dance!).  Recently, they sang as part of a kindergarten's graduation.  This is, of course, all in Estonian.  Mia has been taught the Estonian national anthem, and in this little video, standing on a large pile of snow outside our apartment, sings the first verse;

Prayer

So the above gives you a little more ideas to pray for us all here in Tallinn.  I am also personally having continued treatment for my back and leg, which is currently sessions of physio.  It's been over 4 months since the initial injury and I pray it is finally starting to get better.  I have at least three more physio sessions, which are good but quite painful, and maybe another 5 water sessions too before further assessment is made on my condition.  I'm still praying for total health, especially with summer coming, and life speeding up even more in Tallinn.

Sorry it has been a long time without any updates - as always, because so much is going on, it makes it hard to actually share what God is doing!  We value every single prayer, and thank you all deeply for the love and ongoing support you have been showing us.

An Interview with...A Church Planter - 7 - Tallinn, Estonia - Series Conclusion

What's been great in hearing back from guys planting churches into The Hague, Stockholm, Riga, Smiltene, Helsinki and Spokane, in the USA, is that there is so much overlap in what they are all saying.

In bringing this series to a close now with my own input from having planted into St Petersburg, Russia, and now starting again in Tallinn, Estonia, I'd also like to draw together the common held views and hopefully further encourage you along these lines.  Because, having read what has already been shared by these great guys in these six other nations, I am certainly encouraged by their words.

This series has been a very popular series indeed.  It leads me on to mention the next series, where again we will hear from other men and women, looking at the subject "How God Speaks to Us" - I'm sure it will be fascinating to read!

So here are my answers to a few of the same questions I've asked the guys in this series:

Some people might look at church planting and feel they have no idea what to do - what would you say to help them?

This is the reason I wrote this series - looking at the question 'What actually IS church planting?' Do any of us really know what to do?  We helped plant Hope Church St Petersburg, which launched in 2009.  Moving to plant into Tallinn in 2012, it doesn't mean we know how to do it here - we need to learn all over again.  So I would say, don't focus on getting to 'know how to church plant' but instead focus 100% on 'getting to know God' and I assure you, the church planting bit will flow easily!

Called to just church plant, or called to a specific city - or both?  And does it matter?

Obviously if you know the city you are called to, it helps a lot.  For instance, is a new language or culture involved?  That changes things.  Can someone be called to church planting in general - yes, absolutely.  I've met lots of people like that.  But at some point God needs to speak (through all the ways He does - and let's see how that is in the new series coming soon!) with the specifics of the city you are to plant into.  So if God has not yet given you the specific location, then I suggest you wait in the place you are in until that is clear.

Calling verses Gifting - where do you stand?

For me, it's got to be calling.  Especially from a cross cultural perspective (which is my only experience).  To go somewhere that's very different to your own background, you have to know you are called when the hard days come (as they will).

When planting into your own culture, gifting will get you so far, but I would still say calling is also vital.

If you have planted into another culture & language, talk through some of the issues and experiences you've come across so far?

It's been a huge honour to have lived in the different places we've lived these last four plus years.  With this also comes testing, faith and responsibility.  

All of our personal experiences are found recorded on the pages of this blog so I won't repeat myself here. What I will say is this; in the modern world, nearly anyone can live anywhere in the world and feel happy and secure on a good day - it's when the issues come and problems arise that makes living in a new culture so much harder.  It doesn't matter how simple the issue, until you learn what to do and who to contact, it's at these times that you feel most alone and vulnerable.

What challenges have you had to over come?

I've definitely covered these in some detail already in older posts, but it's amazing how quickly you move on.  We had huge issues getting what we needed in place for us to own the home we were trying to get.  Some of that came out of not knowing the system, but much, as I understand now, came from a cultural misunderstanding which meant I wasn't asking the right kinds of questions, and I wasn't being told the right answers because for them, at the time, it didn't matter what the answer was, there was nothing to act upon, so they agreed with what I was saying.  It's when they actually had to do something about it that the banks told me what they really thought!

What challenges remain?

The Estonian language is a hugely difficult language to learn, so there is a challenge there.  The fact that, as a non-linguist, I'm now learning my third language, it makes me smile at what is possible with God - all things!

For many reasons, Estonia is a divided nation on ethical lines between Estonians and Russians. To plant a church that reflects the city of Tallinn, bring unity to a divided nation, is going to be a huge challenge.  With very different languages and personalities, we need to find God's way through in what we go onto do.

Can people still move to join you?

Absolutely!  We are at the exciting pre-launch phase. We've seen some team coming together but for us to truly reach our vision here in Tallinn we need others, called of God to be in Tallinn, to join us and together help us plant this church.

How can someone pray for you and your church?

Pray all sorts of prayer for every occasion!  As the most secular nation in Europe, Estonia needs God's powerful hand of breakthrough.  Tallinn represents a third of the whole population of Estonia - if Tallinn gets a new heart then so does the nation.

We need to see vast numbers of people saved.

Do you need a team to go church planting?

I love team.  While I agree you don't need a team to move to church plant, I would say that you can't start the church plant phase without a team.

It was an honour to be part of such a great team in St Petersburg, and when our time came to move to plant into Tallinn, while we went alone, the value of team was there.  We knew of someone from Russia wanting to join us, but they'll need a visa for here and that has still yet to sort itself out.

As team was such a high value we had, we didn't start doing anything in the city regarding our own church plant until Arnoud & Elisabeth had moved to join us during the summer.

What challenges do you face with raising children in a 'foreign' setting?

What might be a challenge is also an amazing opportunity.  If you can see through language learning issues and culture adjustment, raising your children bilingual (or tri-lingual in our case) is an amazing honour.

We of course have no way of knowing how our kids would have been growing up in our own background. What they do have ahead of them is a rich, multicultural understanding and experience, which I hope is all the better for them.

Personally, with Mia, I think we've got her into a better schooling system than we ever could have had access to living where we did in the UK.  For that, and so many other things, we feel blessed.

Is outside financial support vital for church planting?  What other ways are there that you've come across? What advantages does having financial support for at least the first year have in the life of a church plant?

I'll answer these together.  In the UK I have always worked in business (I mean, I was never paid as a full-time church leader).  Moving to Russia, and now Estonia, the issue with all my experience and ability (as good, or bad, as that might be) is that it largely doesn't matter - without language you are rather unemployable.  In fact, my English language became more valuable in the fact that I could teach - something I had no desire or passion to do in the UK!

The point is, things change when you move countries.  What outside financial support offers is time.  This is the most valuable thing we have and it allows us to learn some language and build relational links into the city - links that will lead to church plant growth - the very reason we are here in the first place!

Church planting into a new culture has huge pressures - so to have the financial issues removed by outside support, while things are getting off the ground, is a huge help.

Finally, if giving for the right reasons, having outside sources of financial support, helps build relational links with those people and churches.  A Kingdom connection gets established - one that prayers, sends and supports.  And that is a very worthwhile thing!

What one piece of advice would you give to someone feeling called to plant a church somewhere?

Enjoy it always, endure it at times, and let me know if there is anyway I can help.

So that's it.  The end of this Church Plant series - though maybe we'll revisit these churches at some point in the future to see how they are getting on!

I am part of the team leading the Hope:Tallinn church plant.

Contacts:

Church Email: hopetallinn@gmail.com

Twitter: @timinthenations

Tim's Email: timintallinn@gmail.com

Blog: you are reading it!