Soldiers -- ˈsəʊldʒə --

We were all born into a war zone.

I'm not talking between one nation and another, or people groups, dictators or anything like that.  There has been a battle raging in the heavens since before the creation of the world.  In fact, when Adam and Eve ate that fruit and ushered in the fall, it really was only the fall of humankind.  An original fall had happened, when a created angel wanted the place of God, and the punishment for that stupid idea was to be sent from heaven - with a third of the angels.  The devil has been waging war against God, and his plans, ever since.

There are some very 'dangerous' places in the world today if we just switch on the news.  Yet something I've always said is this:

"I'd rather be in the middle of a war-zone inside the will of God, than in a place of (relative) safety outside of his will."

Oh, to be foolish enough to be outside his will!  It doesn't bear thinking about really.

There is a spiritual battle raging for Tallinn.  That's why we are here.

They say, 'Estonians don't do religion.'  And looking around (my Facebook feed is often full of examples proving this fact!) you'd have to say this seems the case.

It's certainly not an easy place to plant a church!

But, I don't really believe that Estonians, or anyone to that fact, simply 'don't do God.'  What I do think is true is that Estonians haven't done God, and haven't had a history of seeing the Bible preached for what it really says. Their rejection, at best, is of a god they think they know about.  A god their communist leaders of the past said didn't exist.  A belief system laughed at in schools (it still is nowadays too!).

Put any Estonian before a living, breathing, healing and all loving, all forgiving God, and they too, like millions of others, suddenly will do God.  I'm convinced of the fact.  That's a large part of why we are here.

'Tim' doesn't have the answers in himself.  Nothing about me is going to change this nation.  But I do know someone who can.

This last week I had another Estonian tell me they don't do religion, and therefore turned down my offer to them to share my personal story.  I was at least able to agree that the God they don't believe in is probably a god I wouldn't believe in either.  We'll see if one day he gives me the chance to really share who Jesus is.

To plant a church here, to even get up to twenty people (the thought seems like a lifetimes effort away!) is going to take something incredible.  Because, as I've said, there is a battle raging for Estonia.

Officially, Estonia ranks number 2 in the world of most atheistic nations. Number 1 is North Korea.  One of the challenges with Estonia is the population.  Doing a little research online, it suggests in North Korea, there are only 1.7% who are Christians (there are other religions showing higher too, but for the sake of comparison, I'll stick to Christianity.  Estonia doesn't have many other religions represented anyway.)  

1.7% is a low percentage, for sure.  Estonia, though the lowest Christian nation in Europe, must have a higher percentage than that - but, here's the thing.  North Korea has a population of 24.9 million people - 1.7% therefore represents 423,000 people!  That's a third of the total population of Estonia, or more to the point, the entire population of Tallinn!  And yet, there are something like only 4,000 Christians here in the capital, maybe a few more.  But not tens of thousands.

Estonia needs something special!

I used the quote from Winston Churchill mainly because we have a General who is Great!  The greatest in fact!

2 Chronicles 20:15 says; "For the battle is not yours, but God’s."

Thinking about this nation, thinking about the Christian brothers and sisters we are praying will move here to join us, it's wonderfully reassuring to remind myself that this is God's battle.  As I said last time in my post on obedience, we are only here because it was first His idea.  And that idea involved seeing a vibrant, spirit filled community loving the city and all whom are put before us.  Serving this great place, being a blessing to all.

Does that stir you?  Want to come and join us to see this happen?

Only the battle hardened, God called, service trained soldiers need apply...

Obedience -- əˈbiːdɪəns --

I'm blogging again.

I've been writing a lot, actually.  Mainly novels (number four is just about to be finished in draft form, very exiting!) and sometimes for websites, a recent one being for 'Encourage Dads' which was fun.

Last night I was on a call with Maurice Nightingale, who is a leader in a church in Ipswich, UK, and part of the team that serves us all in Relational Mission. He's a good guy.  At the end of the call, he encouraged me to blog again, stating that he used to point people to the way I regularly posted.

The last posting here was back in March last year - oh dear.

The thing is, there isn't a lot to say.  A change of approach is needed, therefore.

In reality there is loads to say, but that can wait.  What I was encouraged to do was just pour out my thoughts, the visions for church in Tallinn that are rattling around, even if just to encourage myself.  Yet looking at the stats as I came but to this (rather dusty!) blog, I've had thousands of visits in the time I've been away, so someone is reading.

The aim of this blog was always to have a place where you could hear from my heart, hence the name.  But maybe the next phase will be hearing the vision for Tallinn.  For Estonia even.

So this is me, back again, with a maybe fresh approach.  We'll see what happens.

I've been thinking about obedience today.  We're in Tallinn because God said so, quite simply.  The same went for our time in St Petersburg.  He said, we obeyed.  It's quite simple really.

What has happened in the two place's 'numbers wise' has been (so far) quite different.  There are a few reasons for that, which I'm sure will come out in the months ahead (if not, or you want to know before, just email me and ask!).
But shouldn't we measure obedience, primarily.  

Let me tell you this story, then I want to touch on something from the Bible.

Meet Joe Bloggs.  Like many others, he's called to reach ants.  The great God in the sky wants all ants to know that he loves them.  God tells Joe to go stand on an ant hill.  Joe engages with lots and lots of ants.
Meet Johnny Bloggs.  He also wants to serve God.  God tells him to go stand next to a tree.  He does see some ants making there way up and down the tree. He tries to tell all of them that they are loved.
Meet Julie Bloggs.  She also wants to serve God.  God tells her to stand in the middle of a field.  With the long grass it's hard to see if there are any ants, but there must be some.
Meet Jim Bloggs.  God tells him to go stand in the home range of an anteater. There are not many, if any, living ants here for Jim to find.  It's the last place ants want to be! 

Joe is hailed as very successful!  His 'church' is seeing ants arriving all the time, and they now need three venues hosting five meetings to fit them all in.  Johnny too is doing well, his constant stream of ants have helped him grow a big 'church'.  He gets asked to the speak at the occasional conference too, though nowhere near as much as Joe does.
Julie has found it a challenge, though has managed to spot a few ants, two wanting to join her group.
Jim feels worthless.  He's not found any ants that are still alive.  He's looking at the success of the others and wonders what he's doing wrong.

You get the picture.

Yet, say we measured it on something Biblical like obedience, what then do we see?

God looks at Joe, Johnny, Julie and Jim and says to them all - "Well done!  You are exactly where I asked you to be! Great job!  I'm proud of each of you."

I've been working through Nicky Gumble's 'BIOY' app where you read through the Bible in one year.  I'm sure this will feature strongly through the months as I pull Biblical stories.  At the moment, we're in Job.  Throughout the whole book (and therefore life) of Job, we see a man obediently serving, loving, and worshipping God.  Yet outwardly, we see two different versions of the same man.
In the opening verses of chapter 1, we see Job the successful man!  In verses 13-18 his world (and roof, literally) comes crashing down.  He's lost everything!  In chapter 2 its his own health.  Same man, two different states.

Which of the two versions would get the invite to speak on Sunday at your church?  The first one, obviously.  Yet its this mans obedience that should shine through, his unwillingness to 'curse God and die' as his own wife suggests, his determination not to blame God for what had happened to him.  It's the same man throughout.

And I identify with Job in that.  I do with Jim Bloggs as well.  All to often we allow the worlds system of 'value' (ie wealth, success, fame) to infiltrate the church.  It can make me look and wonder at times - what's actually happening here, Lord?  Can anyone get saved in Tallinn?  

The answer is a resounding yes, of course.  And despite 'nothing' much happening here, even within our humble realms two people made first time commitments to Jesus last year.

And I'm the same Tim that was part of a super-doper 'successful' church in St Petersburg.

It's time I stopped looking at 'success' and start resting in obedience, which is the core of what I'm trying to say. I'm not actually trying to speak at conferences.  Let's value obedience.  Let's encourage generously.  Success in God is being exactly where He wants you to be.  No other qualifiers.  

That must also mean you can be worldly 'successful' yet not in the place God wants you - and that, my friends, is scary.

1 Samuel 15:22 

But Samuel replied: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

Enough said.

Spring News from Tallinn!

It's time we updated you on a rather interesting few months.

Well over three months ago (a now growing habit of blogging less and less) we updated you with all that had taken place since the summer.  You can remind yourself of that news here if you like.

Many of the things I talked about then have continued on the same path, whilst for some things totally new possibilities have opened, as you'll read about below.

Here are the headlines:

• Hope:Tallinn has a venue!
• Largely Snow-less Winter in Tallinn (again!)
• Family Fun
• Key Visitor in March
• Baby Shower and Soon Arrival
• Six@Six Prayer Initiative

But I'll try and tell the story a little chronologically otherwise the news (and photo's!) will be jumping around, and we'll end in snow having started with a nice sunny picture above, which was taken in February (usually, the coldest, frozen sea month there is in Estonia!)

The Christmas and New Year Break

What ever snow there was, it certainly had to be appreciated! We actually only got out skiing in December, this photo taken not far from our home.

We were in Tallinn over the holiday, though did manage a couple of nights away once Rachel had finished at the school and the girls had broken up, literally picking Anya up from kindergarten (as I recall now writing this) and going away to the west of Estonia.  It snowed whilst we were away, allowing us to arrive home on the 23rd December to an even whiter Tallinn and thankfully White Christmas.  That snow was basically gone by the first week of January, though did return a bit as the next picture shows, which I'll get to in just a moment.
New Year's Eve is fun in this part of the world, a much 'bigger' deal than we ever saw in the UK.  In Russia, it was their main event in the year, and that tradition lives on in Estonia, though gifts are given on 24th December for Christmas, that being the only real difference to New Year in Russia (though Russian background people here also give their gifts only at New Year). Rachel's mum and dad were over with us for this period too.
One of the huge divides we notice that show up in Estonia between the two ethnic groups happens on New Year's Eve.  We noticed it last year which was a surprise and then this year, maybe more aware of it, it really struck us as unusual.
It goes like this.  As eleven o'clock comes around that night (yes, one hour before midnight) the skies around our home light with fireworks.  Just north of our home in a large Russian area - and from our window we see multiple displays all going on.  Whilst there are 'main' displays that take place, most are people buying their own fireworks and having their own party.  That's what happened on our street at midnight proper, the field in front of us becoming a shared public display, something we too joined in this year, even with our own box of fireworks.  It was amazing to meet so many neighbours, in a country so often silent with strangers, we were able to celebrate with the locals.  But why the two time slots?  Well, eleven in Tallinn is midnight in Moscow - the Russian background people let off their fireworks once Putin's speech is finished and New Year has hit the Russian nation.  The fireworks are most vocal at midnight, though only a little more so.  And it's not people just travelling to Estonia for the holiday (though that was true of Rachel's folks, who weren't going to wait until 2am to celebrate New Year), this is people living in Estonia permanently.
A few days after this, we got to meet some neighbours again, inviting them over for mulled wine and English (homemade!) mince pies.  Seven households came in total, including everyone from the small handful last year.  It seems to be growing! It was great for us to meet some more people.  Two couples came from our floor, including our next door neighbours (there are five flats on our floor).  These were both young Estonian couples and it was clear they hadn't ever properly met each other before.  They obviously enjoyed the opportunity to speak to each other longer.  Fascinating, that it would take us to bring even Estonians living in the same building together!
And then maybe a week after that it snowed heavily for a day.  I spotted someone rolling a huge snowball, clearing snow from the parking area.  He's the guy in the red jacket in the picture.  He was out with his two boys and they'd all been to our house for the mince pies.  I offered to help him as the snow ball was as much as he could move on his own by this stage and in the middle of the car park!  We managed to get it across onto the field, by which time it was as big as the both of us could manage.  He turned to me and asked "What should we do with it?" to which I mused: "Build an ice slide?"
Two hours later, with two other families (men, women and kids!) joining in, the community project was taking shape! Another fab way of connecting with people, and lots of fun together!  All the kids would take turns on the slide, and while it never got to being sheet ice as I had planned (we'd seen this once in northern Finland and it was really cool!) it was the last piece of snow to melt, staying for weeks on the field as the compressed ice refused to melt, even after the field was totally clear of all other snow.

Family Life

While it has been a season of illness and battle (spiritual often), we've continued to make time for family as much as we can.  Over the Christmas holiday it was my pleasure to take each child out on their special 'Daddy Date' which we do at this time of year. They buy a new dress before, Rachel helps them dress up and then we go and do something (their choice) and have food together after.  It was Anya's first time.  It's my honour as their dad to show them how they should be treated, to spend time getting to know them and strengthen that already strong bond, whilst creating fun memories.  I love being the father to these two amazing little ladies.  Whilst church planting is a focus and something we've given ourselves wholeheartedly to these last seven years, it can never be at the expense of this wonderful family God has placed me into.  My role as husband and then father has to come before that of church leader.  With Anya, we worked together on making this wonderful (and tasty!) marzipan Christmas tree.

This year, the girls have also let their creativity flow as part of an art class that they joined on Saturday's from February.  They did this class weekly for the first month but now they go every fortnight, so that we have some time as a family.  On the right is just one example of the kind of art work they are able to produce with the help of the Russian artists who run the group.  For those who have not seen the growing collection, you can view them here, which will take you to the Facebook album I add the latest works to.  

At the beginning of this month, Anya turned five.  It was also three years since we moved to Tallinn, having moved four days before her second birthday.  Parties are generally done in play areas in Tallinn, so this is what Anya wanted, and she invited about half a dozen children from her kindergarten class to the event happening at the play area in a nearby shopping centre. The only alarming thing (literally) was mid way through the party, the fire alarm sounded in the shopping centre and everyone had to evacuate.  The children were in tears! Thankfully it was nothing serious and we were back in about thirty minutes later no worse for ware.

Tim The Writer

Last time I also mentioned this aspect of my life and 2015 so far has been a big step along in my writing career, with my second novel being released on 16th January and then in February, for the first time, I hosted a book launch party in Tallinn to celebrate.
Following on from that, one of the main newspapers in Estonia asked me to give an interview for their weekend edition, which was a great joy.  The photo shows the double page spread, even if the picture of me holding the book as if it was a baby (taken for fun at the book launch event) wasn't necessarily the one I thought they'd use!
The article is in Estonian, though was also translated into English (from what the reporter wrote, not what I actually said in the first place) for their online version, a link to which is here. 

Following this was another first for me.  The main book store chain in Estonia, Apollo, started stocking both books in March.  It was surreal seeing them in the 'Uus' section (which means 'New') though the price they've set is so high I wonder if they'll sell any. They've already purchased the books from me, so in that regards it doesn't really matter, but if I'm to grow a local readership in Estonia (beyond the friends I know here who have bought the book from me) then the overly high price is not a good thing.

All these things being said, even with my Twitter following going through the 11,700 mark (its was just through the 5,000 last update!), I've a long way to go.  Launch figures were okay, though not extravagant. The book didn't chart as high as I'd hoped and without advertising, isn't selling copies at the moment.  The initial buzz has therefore soon passed.  Whilst the reviews that have been coming in are already excellent (see here for details of these) it seems any major breakthrough is still a long long way off.

If you have any ideas, any invitations for book parties, anything really that you'd like to run past me, please drop me a note.  It's my dream that writing becomes my paid vocation, supporting all that we do here in Estonia, whilst opening doors of opportunity.  I've seen God's hand with me but need more of that, as well as people recommending me to others, and those that have read the books already remembering to review them.  Reviews really do help other readers to make a purchase!

I've also not forgotten about these Christian book ideas I asked you about last time, and am thankful for the few that gave me some feedback. It might be a project for this summer.  All of this is part of a need to see more finance coming in, making up for a drop in support that has happened over the last year.  I might pick up on this theme a little later.

More Recent/Upcoming News

Rachel hosted a baby shower for Elisabeth, whose baby is actually being delivered tomorrow (Monday 30th March!).  The shower was a great success, people travelling from across Estonia to join Elisabeth.  Since finding out they were pregnant, it has been a terrible nine months for Arnoud & Elisabeth in many ways, health for Elisabeth at an all time low, totally taken out by the pregnancy and other related health issues.  For Arnoud it's meant running the home as well as his full time job.  It also had a knock on effect with church, in a season of pushing for something, that 'next step', this key family were needing to take a step back.  Please pray for them as the baby is delivered through C-Section tomorrow nearby.  Pray also for the recovery, and the healing of everything that has happened to them these last nine months.  Whilst we know it'll take at least the summer to adjust back to things, plus they will have the new baby, we trust the worst is now behind them.  

Sherron Fensome is still planning on moving to Tallinn, aiming for the first Monday in May.

Please also pray for her over this next month, for her transition (she's finishing work this coming week!) to her arrival. Rachel is looking into possible housing options, already visiting one.  Also keep a job in your prayers for her.

Sherron does love cats, so a recent visit to a newly opened 'cat cafe' in Tallinn might be the purr-fect (sorry!) thing for Sherron. The cafe has six cats, though the friendliest of them all gravitated to our table right away, the girls doing their best to copy its expression in this photo.

Autumns Lows and Seven Year Effect

This update has been largely lite and newsy so far, probably because I knew I needed to write this next section.

In the last update I shared how things were tough, how the New Year gave chance for fresh vision, because what we had been doing in the Autumn hadn't grown things the way we thought, and energy had dropped.  Obviously the (temporary) loss of Arnoud and Elisabeth at such a time, as detailed above, did have an effect on our ability as a group to press on.

I personally felt more alone as the season pressed on. The New Year brought a prayer focus, and obvious need to fall on God to grow this church plant, our efforts (and our energies!) failing.  So January started with us meeting to pray every Sunday for an hour followed by a drink in a cafe.  Back on that first Sunday on 4th January, we actually had more visitors than core present, five were over from St Petersburg and another locally based German man came along as well. It was Stephen & Ketlin's last weekend with us before they flew to America to spend eight months - they come back in August.

The weekend after was the #TallinnPrays event, this time gathering people from five churches, though none from the church we were hosting it in, who usually did come.  A seventh church also had planned on but were not able to come that time. We'd then used that venue once more for our own Sunday meeting, but a weekly commitment for this other church was too much so venue became the most pressing issue.  Sitting in the cafe after that prayer meeting (which must have been Sunday 22nd), we looked through the options Enrico had found for rent-able premises and nothing really hit the mark, some a little too isolated, or too derelict! Looking at this list with Arnoud, we revised the search area and suddenly another venue looked promising.  The following Wednesday I visited it with Enrico and we shared what we saw at group that evening. It seemed doable, and I was back that very Friday to sign the contract and collect the key. We used it for the first time that next Sunday, less that 7 days since first spotting it online. That first meeting (which was prayer and worship) we only had the chairs we could bring easily from home. These two photos show the hall, plus the chairs we were able to buy and now also the banners that have gone in this week giving a little more colour to things.  (The door in the photo doesn't open, before you wonder why we are facing that way!)  

On that first Sunday, a family of five (Canadian) were there for the first time. They've come back once too, looking for a local church.  Whilst what we are currently doing doesn't meet their immediate needs, they have said if we were to launch this Autumn, they'd look to join us then.

A Stake in the Ground

My first conversation with Arnoud once he'd come back from their three week break in The Netherlands over Christmas, was telling.  Clearly the time away had given them time to talk to others, getting things off their chest, even if the sickness was still with Elisabeth.  And as we spoke that day, something we both needed to answer was this - how long do we keep going as we are until we call it a day?  At what point does this stop becoming a church plant heading for launch and just a group of burnt out people?
What formed in my head that day was the need for a stake in the ground, a timing we are working towards that either confirms God's call or makes us ask some tough questions.  For me, October felt the right kind of time for a launch.  We push hard this year, praying into and building towards a launch Sunday in the Autumn.
Now, the speed of the venue coming around seemed to encourage us in that regard.  Clearly, if we were to launch we'd need a venue, and suddenly we had one.  A place that we could use throughout the week, the fortnightly toddler group instantly growing in numbers the first week it moved to our new venue - the mums seem to really like it!
The real prayer is for growth.  Getting to October the size we are now (even including Sherron into that figure) doesn't give us the core size we need to launch well.  It might get us someway, but we'd soon all run out of energy. So the stake in the ground is for God to bring in the extra people, key people, that we need in order to launch.  This would grow into an easy prayer initiative that I'll talk about later, but before that a little more darkness...

Can We Do This?

I guess, mirroring Elisabeth's own sickness as she approaches the new birth, we've felt this same struggle spiritually as we've pressed through these last months.  Energy levels dropping, vision for what is happening taking a hammering. Bouts of sudden sickness falling upon us, often the night before a special church gathering.  These stopped once we started asking people to pray for us on Saturday's.  It's led me to ask (constantly) of God - can we do this?  And if I'm honest, I often followed this with the question; And do I want to do this anymore?  By January, finance once again became a problem, a long standing church in the UK announcing they'd stop later this year, a figure that represents about 40% of the total support we now receive, support which makes up (thankfully) about a third of our current income.
Nothing was running as smoothly as before.  We were doing all the right things outwardly, but something was suffering inside.  I felt my walk with God was also struggling.  I was too busy trying to fix our situation to spend the time I wanted (and needed!) in the word!  Crazy, I know.
And then the realisation - carry on as we are, and we are heading for burnout.  In many ways, it's great that we recognised this, as one spots a potential danger far enough ahead to avoid a collision.  You see, whilst this current season has been challenging, by itself it's not outstripped all that's gone before.  It's just followed on from it all.
For us, it's the awareness that the last seven years have caught up with us, that it's not just about the last nine months, nor even the three years we've now been in Tallinn for, but actually going back seven years plus, from the transition in Stockport where I stepped down from leadership to focus on the move, to landing in Russia (spiritually exhausted) then the church plant there, before moving on again and all this time in Tallinn since.
The thought that we were praying into an October launch given our situation, made no sense.  We didn't have enough energy to get us through to the summer, let alone beyond that.
Something needs to change.  We need space.
We've now talked this through with everyone here, plus Sherron (so she is fully aware what she is arriving into).  We still have faith for an October launch, which has grown this last week, as you'll see in a moment.  But for that to happen, we need a time of rest as a family.  Spiritually to lay down the cloak of leadership responsibility, for a season, in order to hear from God and come back stronger and more envisioned, especially ahead of an Autumn push.  So what this looks like is this summer, once Rachel finishes for the summer at the school (mid June) we'll take three months 'break'.  It's not a sabbatical, as I'm not full-time for the church.  I'll still have my U.K job and writing, but it's more the leadership responsibility for this season we'll lay down. We're talking this through with the team about what this will look like.  We'll certainly be around socially for things, especially meeting any new people that turn up, but won't take the reigns back properly until mid-September, ready for that push.  We'll do it in such a way as to recover ourselves whilst not hampering in any way the small core we have and our ability to push hard this Autumn.  Summer is always a very social time, plus a time people arrive in Tallinn from overseas, maybe moving for a new job or to study something at University.  So we will make sure we don't lose any opportunity whilst also reflecting our need to recharge.  Please pray for us as a family during this time and also for the church plant.  One amazing thing that came out of this last week and in relation to the summer was one visitor seeing the need for us to get some sunshine and time away offering us use of a holiday property, only for someone else to say they'll cover the flights for us all to get there! We're very grateful to them, God is so good!

Give Us Six People Lord!

Last week was a good week for outside input - first a Skype call with Adam Bradley (Life Church - Peterborough) and then Maurice Nightingale was in Tallinn for a day on Thursday.  Both were aware of the financial situation as well as the fragile state of things (I'd sent them an urgent plea for wisdom the week before in relation to another situation they both helped with).  But as I prepared for these times, the more I thought about what we needed, the more I was led to my hearts core cry - for people! Finance tends to sort itself out - any short-term help offered only delays the issue anyway - and venues and things like that do help, but without the people we are stranded.  Then it came to me.  Six people added to our core team (even for a short 'season' to help us) would be the game changer.  We should pray for six people - at six o'clock.  The #SixatSix hash tag prayer was born!  We're asking people around the world to pray for Hope:Tallinn - that six extra people would join us.  Whether it's six in the morning and you are just getting up, or six in the evening and you are sitting around the dinner table (with others maybe), please say a short prayer, asking God to send us six extra people.  Ideally, the six would include a couple of musicians, some with teaching ability, all with servants hearts and the ability to be relational and connect others in! Six game changers that added to this great team already would give us the wings we need to really fly.  So will you pray with us?  Maybe you could be part of that answer - giving even six months (October - March) this Autumn could be an amazing time for us all.

Maurice's Visit

What was great about this timely visit, was that it's come at what now seems to be the end of this challenging time, and has given us hope and a road map for what this next year could become.  It's allowed us to talk through the issues and have someone help with the solution.  And he might even have the first of these six game changers in mind....watch this space on that one!
We'll focus especially for this next year - building up this October for a launch (hopefully) and stepping into the next stage of things.  Come next Easter (2016) it'll give us a fair understanding on what is happening - it's either on wards and upwards, or something else!

Easter Event

To finish, I'll ask for prayer for us as the team (probably just four of us!) host an Easter Family Fun event next Sunday on Easter Day. We did something similar last year and it was a real success.  Now that we have our own venue to use, we really pray the message of Easter rings true for many who come, as well as being a fun time for all.
We're doing this event between 4-6 Tallinn time, so depending on where you are reading this from, please do remember us in prayer on that day.  We really want to be able to serve these families well, whilst sharing with them the real message behind this special day.

Prayer Points

• #SixatSix - Team growth!
• Next Sunday's Easter event.
• For rest this summer and recovery ahead of the Autumn push
• For baby Bakhuisen being born tomorrow!
• For Sherron's move to Tallinn in early May.

Update from Tallinn - December 2014

Remember us?  I've had it in mind to update everyone for sometime.  I didn't realise the last time we'd put an update out here was back in July! That is a long time ago!  In fact, looking at my frequency of blogging, this post will be number seven of the year, that's all.  That's the lowest annual total in the seven years I've been blogging!

It's not for lack of things to write about.

I guess it's not totally true to say I haven't been blogging entirely.  In November I was given a weekly spot on the Families First blog, my short posts on 'Mission as a family' go out every Friday and you can find the last one here. 

And if I'm brutally honest with you, as I've always intended on being on a blog titled 'hearing my heart' these last few months have been quite a struggle. We'll come to that later.

Here are the headlines for this update:

• POG Camp in Latvia in August
• NEW Weekend in Helsinki in September
• New School Term, New Job for Rachel.
• Regular Prayer Events Started
• Team Growth - Present and Future
• Parenting Course

In August (which does feel like a lifetime ago and it actually was, especially when I look outside!) we traveled down to the small town of Ergli in Latvia to join many others from around the Baltic region, as well as the UK, for the 'Presence of God' conference, hosted by Mike Betts and his team from Relational Mission.

Matt Medd, together with the other guys in the Riga church plant, had done an amazing job of organising the event for us all.

There were meetings for the adults and a whole program for the children who loved their time together.  Many new friends were made and existing friendships strengthened.  As well as the UK, there were people from Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Finland and Sweden.

As you can see from these pictures, the weather was great and the campsite perfect for hanging around and spending time with friends. For the more adventurous, there was the zip line, which both Rachel and Mia tried out!

The lake was great for swimming in, though Mia did develop some form of skin infection that resulted in a trip to a local doctors there.

The teaching was fantastic.  Mike Betts and Angela Kemm, as well as Phil Whittall (Grace Church, Stockholm) really encouraged us.

The sense of being together, coming from similar situations and yet caught up in something bigger, was really fantastic.

Many people had been able to meet up at an event in Stockholm earlier in the year in May, when Terry Virgo had traveled to Sweden to speak on Grace.  This POG event in August, longer and with more people present based around a camp site, allowed greater relationships to be built and formed a second meeting point in the region for the year.

A third one was about to happen too, this time in Finland, the following month.

NEW Event - Helsinki

Kevin and Lydia Jones, together with their team in Helsinki, did a wonderful job of hosting a Friday-Sunday conference.  The NEW event has been around for some years in the RM family and I'd been to the last two, speaking at the last one, both hosted in Riga.  This was the first time it had come to Finland, the church plant there barely one year old.

Again this time I had the great honour of being asked to share at one of the sessions, speaking about the realities of church planting, but with faith.  I think I managed to stick to my mandate and in truth received the best feedback and encouragement I think I've ever had.  The other speakers, all from the UK, did a wonderful job in serving us over the weekend, as did the team that were looking after the children.

Rebekah had been able to join us from Tallinn, though sadly Arnoud and Elisabeth had had to pull out at the last minute, though their oldest daughter did also travel with us for the trip.

Again there was a great sense of togetherness. Latvia, Sweden, Finland, The Netherlands, The UK and of course Estonia was represented.

Looking back, I realise how much I cherish these times together.  The travel and time, and of course expense, is all worth it because of the chance to meet together, with people going through the same things you are, in contexts and nations very similar to our own.

And so we hit the Autumn...

The summer had been a busy time as I mentioned in the last update, with these camps and conferences following on as mentioned above.  Midway through August, the transition into a different time was already happening. Rachel started a new job as a class teacher in the Tallinn European School. The school itself is only in its second year, and Rachel is a class teacher to grade one children.  The job was only meant to be part time (Mon-Thurs) and while it has settled down a little, in time but not energy levels, in the early months it was fair to say it was all consuming, and in many regards still very much is.  There have been a few Friday's already when she's needed to be in, and one whole weekend when she had to be at school for some special training taking place!  Several months in, it's said she's got the most difficult class in the school. Much grace is needed and your prayers for her would certainly be good.  It has opened up new doors and many avenues of relationship.  It's another step at integration for us as a family.  And it's certainly one of the things that has added to a very real, very intense few months.

Prayer Events

On the back of the summer, with the sense of momentum and fresh vision seemingly building towards a key phase approaching, we entered September with a week of prayer, finishing on the Saturday night with a prayer and worship night, which we did in partnership with another local church.  It was thought this was just a one off event.  

For that night itself, events transpired that three churches were actually together.  By the end of the night, which was enjoyed by all, we were left with the feeling that God was in this, and maybe something more regular should happen, where churches come together, laying down agendas, gathering to worship and pray for Tallinn, Estonia and the nations.  I spoke with the other churches and settled on the feeling that a regular bimonthly prayer event should take place.  We held the next one therefore in November and saw four churches represented.  We're hoping there will be at least five present when we meet next in the New Year, on January 10th.  The photo shows the worship band for the last event, made up from people from three different churches.

Going forward, I do feel for next year these prayer events, happening across churches in Tallinn, are really important times for us and appropriate focus and time should be given to them.  The last move of God that happened in Estonia, whilst it was still part of the Soviet Union in fact, happened in the late 1970s.  In a Union that denied God, common practice was to force all denominations to use a single facility.  It was a clever ploy - rather than going as far as to outlaw the church entirely, they knew throwing them all together, each with their different traditions and beliefs, and the church would end up destroying itself.  Well, it didn't work, of course.  And what happened in Tallinn, in St Olav's Church in the Old Town, was they started to pray. Churches forced together and now praying together.  And dramatic things started to happen. Miracles and healings.  News spread right across the Soviet Union and people came to Tallinn, until the KGB forced the revival to shut down, giving the leaders at the time an ultimatum that sadly they agreed to.

Whilst we live in relatively free times, the spiritual climate in Estonia couldn't be darker.  It's sometimes tangible. We've had several people comment on passing through Tallinn how they had this spiritual sense of something, an oppression, not felt in other local capital cities, a region that is all very secular with very few churches.  What is it about Tallinn and Estonia that makes people say this?  I don't know, but we feel it too.  Prayer is the key because prayer is talking to God and He is the only one on which this matter ultimately depends.

Lights in the Darkness

We are of course called to be lights in the dark world.  The excitement and activity of the summer, with the events in Tallinn and relational events elsewhere, gave us sight of something beyond us.  It's as if the realities of being once more 'on the ground', with natural daylight drawing shorter each day, has taken its toll. The momentum and energy there was in September has come and gone. Whilst the midweek home group has always been weekly and still is, the autumn saw us launching a fortnightly Sunday gathering more like a church meeting than anything else.  Gathering events would still happen around them.  But we haven't seen the crowds coming and these meetings have slowed us down, if I'm honest.  With a new year approaching, I need to look again with eyes of vision and understand what God has for us next.

It's God Who Has Gathered the Team

One thing I keep coming back to, when I often ask the question "how are we possibly going to see a church planted here" is to remind myself that it's His church, and His job!  Also, I take great encouragement from the fact that the team that has already gathered, and which is still growing, is God's doing! Right from Arnoud & Elisabeth, the first family to move to join us, through to Enrico, Stephen, Ketlin and Rebekah, all have come because God did something in their hearts, which caused them to get in contact.  In August, Maki joined us too.  Japanese by birth, she'd just moved from Panama in central America to take a job at the International School.  She brings a lot of passion and is very much on board with us, which I'm so thankful for, even if I don't yet know what it is we are needing to do as a church plant!

God has also spoken to another English lady, Sherron Fensome, who is looking to move to Tallinn in April next year. Please pray for her as she makes final preparations, especially in relation to a job.

What's become clear to me, and something so different to our experience in St Petersburg, is that to plant a church in Estonia will take a long time.  It's like a warfare situation.  Some wars are won quickly, airstrikes, shock and awe.  Others are long and drawn out, person to person, decade to decade. In relation to church planting, Estonia is certainly the latter.

And we are prepared for the long haul.  We have settled here, we largely love life here and never felt this was going to be a quick effort.  But it also drains vision.  To see people not attending something, to hear other churches longing for the same thing we are - to see just one person saved!

So it's a time of assessment.  Of reflecting on where we've been and where we need to be going.  Most of all, it's a time where we need to hear God on what to do next.

Parenting Course

One thing that we have wanted to do for a long time and were able to put on recently was a course to help parents. Gary and Fiona Blackwell, from Stockport Family Church, UK, helped us greatly by coming over to Tallinn for a long weekend and as part of that putting on this one off seminar, that saw a largely new crowd of people gathered, if not a huge crowd.  It was perfect for what followed.  We were able to put on a Kids Club at the same time so that the parents, in theory anyway, could have time to talk during the seminar without the distraction of their children.  Future courses for parents, as well as courses looking at marriage, are still in my thinking, as we look at practical ways of really helping people in Tallinn.

Visits

Tallinn remains a popular destination and the last few months have seen people passing through.  Some just as tourists, others exploring opportunities here.  I mentioned Sherron above, who was here when John and Liz Barrett, from Alton, Hampshire, happened to be arriving for the day on a Baltic Sea cruise.  We all met up for some time. Rachel was taking this photo, and Mia was at ballet at the time.

Josie Rogers, a student currently in St Petersburg, is also a more regular visitor to Tallinn, having been over in the summer to help us with the team.  She is planning on coming to do a voluntary year (or more!) in Tallinn from September 2016.

John Putman, a church leader from the UK, was also passing through again. He'd traveled up from Riga and had two nights in Tallinn, sharing during our midweek meeting.

Tim the Writer

A growing part of my professional life over the last few years has been in relation to writing, as I hope many of you already know by now (or I've been doing something rather wrong in my communication of this exciting fact!)  How I balance the increasing demands of a writers life with that of church life (not to mention, of course, my higher priorities as husband and father!) remains a challenge I need to still understand. Clearly, with church at the stage we are still at, there is less of a clash - I dare not ask myself the question that am I part of the reason we are still at this stage?

With my second novel due out next month (January 2015 - and yes, you will hear a lot more about that in the coming weeks!), I'm working hard to develop this important next step in my writing career.  Over the last month or so I've seen an explosion of followers on social media, my author account on Twitter has gone through the 5000 followers mark and grows daily.  It remains to be seen, following on from the relative success of my debut novel, what this translates into take up for the new novel, titled The Last Prophet.  

A third novel is already written in first draft form and I will start a fourth novel in January.  One thing that is coming to light over recent weeks in Estonia is that in certain circles, I am becoming known because I am an author.  And this is leading to questions of why I chose to live in Estonia if I can write anywhere - which leads onto church.  Just last night, having introduced myself as Tim, two internationals were talking with me, and when I said I was an author, they both said "Oh, you are Tim Heath.  Yes, we've heard of you.  We should have guessed!"  That doesn't happen too often, I should say.  Not yet, anyway.  But it does show me that maybe God would open a door into Estonia, through my writing life, that raises the profile of Christianity?  Last week I was also in a conversation with an Egyptian businessman, a fan of my book, asking me about making the film version of it here in Estonia.

And I like to write.  I'm sure if you are still reading this, you know that by now.

But let me ask you a few questions.  If I was to publish a Christian book called "Adventures of Faith" which detailed our journey and what God has done, what else would you like such a book to cover?  What elements would you like to know about?  The Adventures of Faith series has been a long running part of this blog - there are six parts already written and my thinking is that part seven, the seven years on reflection, could be exclusive for the eBook? 

What else would be good to be included?  Let me know.

Also, seeing as this is the first update since July, would you like to hear news more frequently, or is it okay as and when?  Let me know too!

Finally, even as I've been writing today's update, I'm more aware that 2015 needs to have a strong prayer focus, central to everything we are and everything we do.  Would a Tallinn prayer weekend in 2015 be something you'd get excited about?  A time to come visit, walk and talk lots, see the sights and have a night of praying together.  A come see, come live weekend that is lite on structure and meetings, strong on relationship, fun and prayer! Would this be something you and/or your church might be excited about?

As you can see, I'm looking for feedback this time.  Feel free to comment wherever you saw this post - either here on the blog, on Facebook, Twitter or as a reply email.  

In case we don't get a chance to say so otherwise, have a wonderful Christmas and New Year - and maybe we'll see you in Tallinn too in 2015?

God Speaks - Words - Part 6

There has been quite a gap between this and the last entry, but I'd like to welcome you back to the latest part of a series that I'm calling "God Speaks..."
Over these nine entries, I want to look at some of the ways that God speaks to us (it's not an exhaustive list of course - I'm sure others can add to it!). Because He does speak.  All the time.

Because God is real, because He loves us and because He is good - He speaks.
Usually, it's us (mere people!) that fail to listen or maybe fail to understand that it was God speaking to us.
I want to share from my own life, as practical examples, some of the ways God has spoken to me.  In all, I want to briefly look at these nine ways that we hear from God:

Dreams (click here to read this section)
Visions & Pictures (click here to read this section)
Through Others (click here to read this section) 
Angels (click here to read this section)
Bible (click here to read this section)
Words
Small Still Voice
Burning Bush
Audible Voice

Personally, I've experienced six out of these nine ways listed - and as we go through the series, I'll make these clear how that happened.  So, here we go with the next part!

Part 6 - Words

What do I mean by words - of course, we all speak with 'words' - the language might change from country to country, but around the world, people use words to communicate.  We've touched on the written word in the last section - the Bible - the inspired, written word of God (inspired through the Holy Spirit, written by people at the time of the events, often eyewitnesses, or soon after the events).  We'll cover words through audible means later.
In this section I want to look at what the Bible calls words - of knowledge, of wisdom....the list goes on.

You see, even in this 21st Century world we live in, God still speaks to us - more so than ever!  More people on the planet, means more people who God desires to have relationship with and therefore speak to.

This particular way of hearing from God, like all the others, can have a very instant impact.  Take a word of knowledge for healing, for example.  And this is something I've experienced first hand!

The Bible tells us we can do the things Jesus did.  It tells us to pray for sick people that they might recover.  It also talks about words of knowledge.  I've prayed for many people who are sick - I don't know the stats, but I know not all have got better straight away (far from it!).  But, I've also prayed for people following a word of knowledge, and in these cases, things work a whole lot differently.  People get healed.  Why this happens I do not really know.  Faith is certainly raised (though really, I guess, it shouldn't be - the Bible tells us sick people got better when Jesus laid hands on them, so really that should be enough).  Often, it isn't.
But, if I'm in a gathering of people, and God has highlighted something very specific to me (for example, arthritis in the left hip and moving down the left leg), and then someone happens to be there with that exact condition, why wouldn't God heal that person?  Does God need to brag that He can revel someones need and leave it at that? Is the faith raised in the sick person because they'd heard their condition mentioned?  Does the one praying, who has seen someone respond, feel more confident in their praying?  Well to answer these - God doesn't need to brag and yes, faith is raised for sure!

The above example actually happened when I visited a church in the Peak District many years ago.....even as I was sharing what God said to me, a lady behind me (she was singing in the worship band) shouted 'yes' with real joy - three people in fact responded to the call for healing from arthritis, though I prayed with just the one person - the 'yes' lady who had been standing behind me.  She told me she'd been waiting 17 years for God to give someone a word for healing about this condition - that's a long time of suffering, and why she needed a specific word, I'm not sure.  I'm sure she got prayed for regularly, but today, of all days, God had picked her out.  And God healed her.  The report back that week (I was passed on the news) was that she was totally healed. Praise God!

Words aren't always about healing - there are words of prophecy too.  These are speaking words over people that release destiny, bring encouragement, emotional healing, love etc.  In other words, they build someone up.  If you are left discouraged, downtrodden, or beaten up after being told a 'prophetic' word, reject it.  Walk away.  True, not all words we want to hear, but even challenging words can be brought in the right way - too often, it's just someones own opinion (or frustration!) packaged in 'thus saith the Lord" - oh, and while we are at this, it's YOU that speaks - use normal language, and your normal voice.  God, believe it or not, doesn't speak with King James English in the 21st century.

Be careful about bringing words regarding the following area, unless you are 'seasoned' in the gift (even then, I'd still say be cautious) and with someone else too: Who someone will, or won't marry.  I guess you could add to that births and deaths.  There are some who I'm sure can, it's just a difficult thing to bring.  God can show the person who they'll marry just as easily as tell a stranger - if we think it relies on our words only, we have a too small of an understanding of our great big God!

I've been on the receiving end as well, many times.  A key phase for me was between the ages of 17-19.  As a 17 year old, I was picked out of a crowd of 2000 people by a gifted and recognised prophet in the UK - Gerald Coutes. He pin pointed some stuff in the present (stuff he couldn't have know but God) and then was very specific about stuff in the future - 17 years from then, in fact.  That was for when I was aged 34...(17 plus 17....but you can do the math...)  I turned 35 last Monday, so this is all very timely!
It was a lot for a 17 year old to take in whilst being very exciting - it was the first time such a direct and specific word had been spoken over me.  It opened me to the understanding that God actually speaks to individuals - it got me moving into this gifting too, but only after a second encounter.  You see, I walked away thinking "Wow, in 17 years time, things are really going to be happening for me....I can't wait to see what that will look like".  So I waited......
Flash forward nearly two years - I was now 19 and at my first Stoneleigh Bible Week, in the summer of 1999 (there were to be two further years before the two week event, which drew 25,000 each week, was finished in 2001).  I was in a 'seminar' with the theme being the supernatural.  A man named Andrew Davies (he would have been much younger than I am now, thinking about it!) was leading the meeting - and in a time of praying for people to step out in the gifting, shortly before I brought my first ever word over someone else, he came over to me.  He referred to the word from two years before (again, only God could have told him this - he'd never met me before, knew nothing of my history) and whilst affirming it, said God wanted me released in the here and now.  Wow.

I guess the last 13 years have been one adventure after another!

God speaks.  He wants to speak to you, to speak destiny, to show you his love and compassion.  He's desperate to speak to you, and for you to know him more.  Yes, people can misuse this gift, or make things up completely.  Let's not make the mistake of neglecting it altogether because of the potential danger, when the potential blessing goes way beyond anything this world has to offer.

Why not ask God to speak to you for someone else today - listen to what he would have you encourage them with and then go tell them!

Next up - The Small Still Voice